Fingering Techniques She'll Love: 7 Moves, From First Touch to Orgasm

Your hands are the most underrated thing you bring to bed. They are precise, patient and endlessly adjustable, and used well, they can do what rushing straight to intercourse rarely does.

The numbers say it plainly. In a study of more than 52,000 U.S. adults, 65% of heterosexual women usually or always reached orgasm when intimate, against 95% of heterosexual men. Women were more likely to climax when the encounter included deep kissing, manual stimulation and/or oral sex, not intercourse alone. That gap is where a skilled hand changes everything.

Here are seven techniques, in the order that works, each with how to do it, why it works and the sign she loves it.

01Why does the order matter?

Because most women enjoy touch more once arousal has built, so each move works best after the one before it has done its job.

In a nationally representative U.S. survey of 1,055 women, only 18.4% said intercourse alone was enough for orgasm. 36.6% said clitoral stimulation was necessary for orgasm during intercourse, and another 36% said it was not needed but made their orgasms feel better. So the clitoris is not a warm-up you leave behind. It is the thread that runs through every technique below.

021. How do you start? Circles around the clitoral hood

Start with small, light circles around the clitoral hood, not on the clitoris itself, and keep them moving.

How: one or two fingertips, slow, light, circling around the hood. Why: the area is very sensitive, and indirect touch lets her arousal build without overwhelming her. In the class, Karla's rule is simple: draw small circles around the clitoris, but don't stay in one place for long.

Her signal: her breathing deepens, she moves toward your hand rather than away from it. That is your cue to stay patient, not to speed up.

032. What comes next? The side-to-side and up-and-down glide

Change the shape of your touch: glide side to side, then up and down, and notice which one she responds to.

How: keep the same light pressure, just change the pattern. Why: women's preferences really do differ. In that same survey, women described different favourite locations, pressures, shapes and patterns of touch. There is no universal right move, only her right move.

Her signal: she reacts more to one pattern than the other. If you can't tell, ask: "This way, or this way?" Women who orgasm more often are more likely to ask for what they want, so make it easy for her.

043. When should you touch the clitoris directly?

Only once she is clearly aroused, and lighter than you think.

How: move from circling around the hood to gentle, direct touch, with less pressure than your instinct says. Why: what feels electric when she is turned on can feel too sharp when she is not there yet. Her signal: she presses toward you. If she pulls back, go lighter or return to the circles.

054. How do you go inside? One finger, slowly

One finger, slowly, only when she is aroused and welcoming it, curled gently toward her belly.

First: short, smooth nails and clean hands, every time. How: enter slowly and stay still for a moment before you move. Then curl the fingertip toward the front wall, toward her belly. Keep your other hand, or your thumb, on the clitoris so the outside touch never disappears. Why: going slow lets her body adjust and tells her you are paying attention, not following a script. If she is not wet enough, use lubricant; comfort comes first, and if anything hurts, stop.

Karla teaches a beautiful way to begin here: soft strokes along the front wall toward the opening, until the area swells and she is very turned on. If you are new to all of this, our full beginner walk-through starts at the very first touch.

065. What is the come-hither stroke?

A slow "come here" curl of the finger against the front wall, the G-spot area, with steady rhythm and pressure she chooses.

How: palm up, finger curled, a beckoning motion against the front wall. As Karla shows in the class, add tapping and pressing into the G-spot area, varying the strokes and adding pressure as she likes. Why: you are letting her set the pressure instead of guessing. Her signal: she asks for more pressure, or her whole body leans into the rhythm.

The angle makes all the difference, and we cover it in depth in the come-hither angle.

076. Should you ever stop moving? Press and hold

Yes: some women love firm, still pressure on the front wall with no movement at all.

How: in the middle of the come-hither stroke, pause and simply press and hold. Why: stillness can feel more intense than motion, and it lets her focus. Karla puts it this way: some women enjoy simply pressing and holding without movement, so experiment to find her favourite.

Her signal: she goes quiet and still with you, or she grips your wrist to keep you there.

087. The blended touch: thumb outside, fingers inside

The move that ties it all together: your thumb on the clitoris and your fingers inside, working at the same time.

How: keep the come-hither stroke going inside while your thumb circles or rests on the clitoris. Find one rhythm that carries both. Why: for most women, clitoral touch is either necessary or makes orgasm better, so this is where the inside and the outside finally meet. Her signal: she stops guiding you. You have found it; keep going exactly as you are.

This one deserves its own lesson: how to combine clitoral and G-spot touch.

09How do you choose the right technique for her?

Watch her reactions and ask her, because her preferences are hers, not an average.

Start with technique 1, move forward only when she is ready, and go back a step whenever she cools down. Ask simple, warm questions: "Softer or firmer?" "Like that?" Women who orgasm more often are more likely to praise their partner and try new positions, so make your bed a place where both of you talk.

When you have the basics, there are variations worth exploring, like the scissor technique.

10What are the most common fingering mistakes?

Rough nails, going too fast, going in dry, and changing what you are doing just as she gets close.

• Rough nails or unwashed hands. Short, smooth nails and clean hands, every time.
• Speed. Faster is rarely better. A steady rhythm she can sink into beats an impressive one.
• Dryness. If she is not wet enough, slow down, go back outside, or use lubricant. Never push through discomfort.
• Changing at the edge. When she is close and her body tells you it is working, do not switch moves, speed up or "try something new". Keep it exactly the same.
• Forgetting the clitoris. Once you are inside, it is easy to leave it behind. Don't.

11The bottom line

Start outside, slow and light. Move inside only when she invites it. Keep a steady rhythm, let her reactions set the pressure, and bring the clitoris back in, again and again. Here at Gabrielle Moore®, that is the heart of it: attention is the technique. If you want every step from the very beginning, our complete guide on how to finger a woman walks you through it.

Angle, pressure and rhythm are easier to see than to read. In Double Fingering Delight, Karla and Jade show you each move, so you can bring it to bed tonight.

Hot kisses,Gabrielle MooreThe voice of Naked U · Who we are