What Is Squirting? Why Women Squirt and How It Works

Most of what men "know" about squirting comes from exaggeration. Online videos make it look like a trick she performs on cue. Locker-room talk turns it into a trophy. And the women who actually do it are left wondering whether something is wrong with them.

Here is the truth instead: seven facts, from the research and from women who squirt. Learn them and you become the man she can finally let go with.

01Fact 1: What is squirting?

Squirting is a release of clear fluid through the urethra at high sexual arousal, usually about 10 millilitres or more, that comes mostly from the bladder.

Researchers define it carefully: a transparent fluid, released through the urethra, the same exit as urine, during intense arousal. Some people call it gushing. Many call it female ejaculation, and until 2011 every such release was lumped under that name.

Strictly, though, they are two different things. Female ejaculation is a few millilitres of thicker, milky fluid from the Skene's glands, rich in a protein called PSA, and it works by a different mechanism. The two can happen at the same time. If you want the full picture, read how female ejaculation differs from squirting.

02Fact 2: How does squirting work?

Arousal refills her bladder, steady pressure on the G-spot area often brings on the urge to pee, and if she relaxes instead of holding back, the fluid is released.

This is the part almost nobody explains. Here is what the research shows, and what women and our teachers describe, step by step:

1. Arousal builds.It starts long before anything dramatic. She needs to be very aroused first, so take your time here.
2. Her bladder fills.In an ultrasound study, women emptied their bladders before sex. Just before squirting, a second scan showed the bladder had noticeably filled again. Right after, it was empty.
3. Steady pressure on the G-spot area.Our course teaches that steady pressure on the sensitive area of the front wall, with a slow "come here" motion, is what commonly brings on the urge to pee. In the class, Abigail explains that the G-spot "responds to pressure, not touch", so getting the amount of pressure right matters more than speed.
4. The urge to pee.As arousal climbs, a strong "I need to go" feeling grows. It is the body responding, not a mistake.
5. Letting go.If she relaxes into that feeling instead of tightening against it, the release comes, in one gush or in pulses. Abigail teaches that she should push out with her pelvic floor muscles right as she reaches climax, and that it might take several tries before the timing is right.

Often there is a little PSA from the Skene's glands in the fluid too: in that ultrasound study, it showed up in the squirt of 5 of the 7 women. Is it pee, then? The honest answer has two halves, and we cover both in our piece on whether squirting is pee.

Step 4 is where many women stop. Out of fear of urinating in front of you, they hold back and the feeling fades. Emptying her bladder beforehand helps her relax, and so do your words. Here is what she needs to hear before that moment.

03Fact 3: Why do women squirt?

Nobody fully knows why; what we do know is that it is a response to intense arousal, usually with steady G-spot pressure, and that most women who squirt learned what brings it on.

Researchers still debate female fluid release, and the exact reason the body does this is not settled. Anyone who tells you the exact "why" is selling something.

What women tell us is more useful. In a nationally representative U.S. survey, two thirds of the women who had squirted discovered it by accident. Then they got curious: 75% used specific techniques to bring on the build-up and the release. In other words, for most women this is something found, then learned, not something switched on.

So why do some women squirt and others never do? About 4 in 10 U.S. women say they have, typically 3 to 5 times in their lives. For the rest, it is not a failure on anyone's part. We look at whether every woman can squirt, and what makes it easier or harder, in its own article.

04Fact 4: What happens when a woman squirts, and how does it feel?

Many women describe building pressure and fullness, a strong urge to pee, and then a release; for most who squirt it feels good, and for some it is almost too intense.

Women describe pressure, warmth and fullness growing low in the pelvis, then a sudden urge to urinate, then a release in one gush or in pulses. Afterward, some feel euphoric. Some laugh. Some cry. Some just melt into the sheets.

In the U.S. survey, about 60% of women who had squirted found it very or somewhat pleasurable. It is not always easy, though. The challenges women named were the time it takes and, for some, that it felt too emotionally intense.

Two lessons for you. Give it time, a lot more than you think. And if she laughs or tears up afterward, nothing went wrong. Hold her.

05Fact 5: What does it mean when a woman squirts?

It means she was very aroused and relaxed enough to let go, but it does not prove she had an orgasm.

This one surprises men. Only 20% of women who squirt say it always comes together with orgasm. Researchers go further: fluid release is not typically part of female orgasm at all. She can squirt without climaxing, and she can have a wonderful orgasm without a drop.

So squirting is not a scorecard for you. It is a sign that she trusts you enough to stop holding back. That trust is the real prize.

06Fact 6: How much fluid is normal?

Anything from a small amount to a lot: squirting is usually 10 millilitres or more, and in one survey the most common amount was about 2 ounces.

In an online survey of 320 women who release fluid during sex, the amount named most often was about 2 ounces (by about 3 in 10 of them), and more than 8 in 10 said the fluid was usually "clear as water". Nearly 8 in 10 of those women, and 9 in 10 of their partners, said it enriched their sex lives.

Small amounts count too. As our course teaches, a small release can be mistaken for extra lubrication, so some women may have squirted without either of you noticing.

07Fact 7: Squirting myths men believe

Most of what men believe about squirting is exaggerated or simply wrong, and each myth adds pressure she does not need.

• "It always looks like a fountain." No. Online videos often exaggerate. In one survey of women who release fluid, the most common amount was about 2 ounces, usually clear as water.
• "Every woman can squirt." No. About 4 in 10 U.S. women say they have. The others are not doing anything wrong.
• "It's just pee." Not exactly. It comes mostly from the bladder and is comparable to urine in its main components, but it is a sexual response, not urinating.
• "If she squirts, she had an orgasm." No. Only 20% of women who squirt always have both together.
• "Faster and harder makes it happen." No. Steady pressure and patience help far more. The G-spot responds to pressure, not light touch.
• "The Skene's glands are the G-spot." No. The Skene's gland tissue runs along the length of the urethra; the G-spot is what people call the sensitive area on the front wall.

08What this means for you

Take the pressure off, both of you. Bring curiosity, not a goal. Put a couple of towels down so she is not thinking about the sheets. Tell her ahead of time that the urge to pee is normal and that you would love her to let go if it comes. And if it doesn't, enjoy everything else. As Abigail puts it in the class, it "is nothing to be embarrassed of."

Here at Gabrielle Moore®, that is the whole spirit: knowledge first, then a relaxed, generous lover. When you are ready to go from understanding to doing, our step-by-step guide walks you through it, one stage at a time.

This article tells you what is happening. In Squirting Orgasm Shortcuts, Abigail shows you how: the pressure that works, and the timing of the release.

Hot kisses,Gabrielle MooreThe voice of Naked U · Who we are