How to Make Her Squirt: Squirting and Female Ejaculation, Step by Step

Few things in the bedroom cause as much curiosity, and as much confusion, as squirting. Some men think it is a myth. Others think every woman should do it on cue. The truth sits in between, and knowing it makes you a calmer, more confident and more generous lover.

This guide covers what squirting is, what the science says about the fluid, whether every woman can do it, and how to help your partner get there, step by step, without pressure.

01What is squirting (female ejaculation)?

Squirting is a release of fluid through the urethra during strong sexual arousal or orgasm, usually after steady stimulation of the G-spot on the front wall of the vagina.

It is also called female ejaculation or gushing. It can happen with orgasm or without it, once in a session or several times, the same way some women have multiple orgasms.

Two small structures are involved:

• The Skene's glands. They sit along the urethra, the short tube that carries urine out of the body. They are often called the female prostate because they produce a similar protein, PSA (prostate-specific antigen).
• The G-spot area. A sensitive zone on the front wall of the vagina, toward her belly. Researchers still debate whether it is one distinct structure, but many women feel a spongy, slightly ridged area there that swells and grows more sensitive as arousal builds. Pressing it also presses on the urethra and the tissue around the Skene's glands, which is why it matters so much here.

Many people use "squirting" and "female ejaculation" for the same thing. Strictly speaking, researchers describe two different releases (more on that just below), and a woman may have one, both or neither. If you want the long version, read about the three kinds of female ejaculation.

02Is squirting pee? What the fluid really is

Not exactly: the larger, clear release comes mostly from the bladder, but it is a sexual response, not the same as urinating, and it often carries PSA from the Skene's glands.

Here is what the research found, in plain words:

• Squirting (the larger, clear release). In a small 2015 study, Salama and colleagues scanned the bladders of seven women with ultrasound. The women emptied their bladders first. Just before squirting, the bladder had filled again; right after, it was empty. The fluid had the chemical markers of urine, and in most of the women it also contained PSA, the Skene's glands' protein.
• Female ejaculation (a small, thicker, whitish fluid). A 2013 review by Pastor separated this from squirting: a few drops or a teaspoon of fluid from the Skene's glands, rich in PSA.
• Neither is incontinence. The same review separated both from coital incontinence, an accidental leak of urine during sex, which is a medical matter worth mentioning to a doctor.

So the honest answer is "it's complicated, and it's normal." The fluid is usually clear and watery, and most women and partners say it does not smell like urine. Neither of you needs to feel embarrassed about it. If she worries it is "just pee," this short piece answers that question.

03Is squirting real, and can every woman squirt?

Yes, squirting is real, and while every woman has the anatomy, not every woman squirts: many can, some never do, and both are normal.

Women have described it for centuries, and researchers have measured it with ultrasound and lab tests. Studies disagree on how many women have experienced it, because they ask the question in different ways, but they agree on one thing: it is common, and it is not universal.

What makes it more likely:

• feeling safe, relaxed and free of judgment;
• a long, unhurried build-up of arousal;
• good hydration;
• a pelvic floor she can squeeze and relax at will;
• knowing that the "I need to pee" feeling is normal.

What makes it less likely: pressure to perform, worry about the sheets, shame about her body's fluids, rushing, and a partner who treats it as a test. A woman who never squirts is not broken, and neither is her partner. Pleasure is the goal; squirting is one possible way her body can express it. For more on what helps and what gets in the way, see what makes squirting easier, and what makes it harder.

04How does squirting feel for her?

Many women describe a building pressure, a strong urge to pee, and then a deep release that can feel intense, relieving and emotional.

Each woman describes it differently, but some threads repeat:

• As the G-spot area swells, she may feel full, warm and heavy low in her pelvis.
• Close to the release, the feeling often turns into a sudden urge to urinate. This is the moment most women hold back, out of habit or embarrassment.
• If she lets go, the release can come in one gush or in small pulses, from a teaspoon to much more.
• Afterward, some women feel euphoric, some laugh, some cry, some simply feel deeply relaxed. All of these are normal.

G-spot pleasure tends to be more emotional than clitoral pleasure, so a lot of what happens takes place in her head. That is why the next section matters more than any technique.

05How to prepare: trust, relaxation, towels, water and her bladder

Preparation is mostly about helping her feel safe enough to let go: talk first, set up the room, protect the bed, drink water and have her use the bathroom.

1. Talk about it first.Bring it up outside the bedroom, with curiosity, not as a goal. Ask if she is curious too. Some women were taught their body's fluids are "dirty"; reading a guide like this one together can ease that.
2. Build trust.She needs to know you will not laugh, judge or make a face, whatever happens. A lot of emotion can come up when a woman lets go this completely. Here is what she needs to hear before she can let go.
3. Remember her history.Stress, a recent argument or past hurts can switch off the part of the brain that allows pleasure. If she has painful memories around sex, go gently, follow her lead, and know that some women want support from a therapist first.
4. Set the scene.Soft light, music, a warm bath, a slow massage, a long evening of flirting: anything that helps her get out of her head and into her body.
5. Protect the bed.Put down a couple of large towels, a waterproof blanket or a plastic sheet underneath. If she is not worrying about the mattress, she can relax.
6. Hydrate.Both of you should drink water during the day.
7. Empty her bladder.She should use the bathroom just before you start. It does not "prove" anything; it simply helps her relax and stop holding back.
8. Hands ready.Clean hands, short, smooth nails and plenty of a good water-based lubricant.

One more idea that helps many couples: encourage her to explore on her own first, in private, on her own time. Without anyone watching, she can learn what her G-spot likes and what the build-up feels like, and then guide you. For a fuller checklist, see how to prepare her body for squirting.

06How to find her G-spot and use the "come here" hand technique

With her relaxed and very aroused, slide one or two lubricated fingers inside, palm up, curl them toward her belly about two inches in, and stroke the front wall with a steady "come here" motion.

Arousal comes first. The G-spot area is hard to find and not very pleasant until she is very turned on, because it needs time to swell. So spend a long time on everything that usually excites her, and bring her close to climax a few times, letting her come back down each time. By the time you reach her G-spot, she should already be near the edge.

Then, step by step:

1. Get her comfortable.On her back, knees bent, a pillow under her hips to tilt her pelvis.
2. Start outside.Warm up the whole vulva and the clitoris with your hand or a small vibrator, slowly, the way she likes it.
3. Enter slowly.With clean, well-lubricated fingers (or a curved G-spot toy), slide one finger in, palm facing up toward her belly. Add a second only if she wants it.
4. Find the spot.About one to two finger joints in, on the front wall, feel for a spongy, slightly ridged area. It often feels different from the smooth walls around it, and it firms up as she gets more aroused.
5. The "come here" stroke.Curl your fingers as if you were waving someone toward you. Start soft and slow, and keep your fingertips on that area rather than sliding in and out.
6. Keep the clitoris involved.Your other hand or a toy on her clitoris at the same time makes a big difference for many women. Inside, the G-spot area and the clitoris are connected by the same network of nerves.
7. Watch and ask.Her breathing, her hips and her words will tell you more than any guide. "Softer or firmer?" is a perfectly sexy question.

Our best-known take on this is The 🤟 Move, the hand trick that helps her squirt: a hand position that lets you press the G-spot from inside while your palm rests with light, steady pressure just above her clitoris, and the movement comes from your whole arm, not your wrist.

07Pressure, rhythm and timing

Firm, steady pressure in a consistent rhythm, kept up without stopping when she feels the urge, works far better than speed or long strokes.

• Pressure. Most women's G-spot responds to deeper, firmer pressure than men expect, but only once she is fully aroused. Start soft, then press firmer as she asks for it.
• Rhythm. Find a rhythm that works and keep it. Changing pace just as she starts to build is one of the most common reasons it fades. Short, focused strokes on the spot do more than long in-and-out strokes; here is why long strokes rarely lead to squirting.
• Timing. The first time can take a long while; for some women, close to an hour of build-up. Her body is learning something new. It usually gets easier with practice.
• Her breath. Encourage slow, deep breathing. It helps her relax and lets the sensation grow instead of tightening up.
• Her hips. Rocking or tilting her hips with each breath can help her build toward release.
• Her pelvic floor. She can squeeze and relax her pelvic floor muscles (the ones used to stop the flow of urine) in slow pulses as she builds. Many women find regular Kegel exercises help them feel and control these muscles.
• The urge to pee. This is the key moment. Remind her she emptied her bladder, the towels are down and you are not going anywhere. Keep the same pressure and rhythm.
• Bearing down. Right at the edge, a gentle push outward, as if she were letting go instead of holding in, can help the release happen.
• Make room. As she releases, her muscles may push your fingers out. Let them. Your fingers can block the release, so ease them out of the way.
• Don't rush to stop. If she wants more, continuing gently can lead to another wave, and for some women the second one is stronger. Only if she wants it.

08Positions that help her squirt

Positions that put steady pressure on the front wall of the vagina and let her relax completely help most: on her back with her hips raised, on top of her partner, or face down with a pillow under her hips.

• On her back, hips raised. A pillow under her hips tilts her pelvis and makes the front wall easy to reach with your hand. The best place for beginners.
• Her on top. She controls the angle, depth and pace, and can lean back slightly to bring pressure toward the front wall. Many women like the control.
• Face down, pillow under her hips. Pressure from behind reaches the front wall naturally, and she can relax completely into the bed.
• Seated at the edge of the bed. With her lying back at the edge and you kneeling in front, your hand reaches the G-spot at an easy angle and the floor towel catches the rest.
• Spooning. Gentle, slow and intimate, good for nights when relaxation matters more than intensity.

Whatever the position, comfort comes first: if she is straining to hold a pose, she cannot let go. For one woman's story of the position that changed it for her, read the position that finally made me squirt.

09What to do when it doesn't happen

If she doesn't squirt, nothing has gone wrong: enjoy the pleasure you shared, take the pressure off, and try again another time with more arousal and less hurry.

Most couples do not get there the first time, or the fifth. Learning it is a bit like learning to ride a bike: it takes a few tries, and once her body has the pathway, it usually comes back more easily.

Things to check, gently:

• Was she fully aroused? Moving to the G-spot too early is the most common mistake.
• Did she hold back at the urge to pee? That is natural. Talk about it calmly, outside the bedroom.
• Did the rhythm change? Stopping, speeding up or switching moves right as she builds often resets everything.
• Was there pressure? If she feels watched or tested, her body will stay closed. Squirting is not a performance test, for her or for you.
• Was she relaxed in her head? Stress, tiredness and worry all count. Anxiety about orgasm is common and can be eased.

Pain means stop. The G-spot area can feel sore if pressed too hard or too long, and squirting should never hurt. If she has pain during or after sex, a burning feeling when she urinates, or leaks of urine outside of sex, she should talk to a doctor.

If she has come close many times and it still has not happened, why she's unable to squirt and how to fix it goes deeper.

10Aftercare

After squirting, hold her, reassure her, offer water and a towel, and tell her how much you enjoyed it.

• Reassure her. The first time especially, she may feel surprised, shy or emotional. A warm word goes a long way: she needs to hear that it was beautiful, not messy.
• Stay close. Hold her and give her time. Some women want to talk; some want silence.
• Water and towels. Have both within reach. Swap the wet towel for a dry one so she can rest.
• Bathroom. Urinating after sex is a common habit that many women find comfortable, and it is often suggested to lower the risk of urinary infections.
• Gentleness. The area may feel tender. Go easy if you continue later.
• Talk later. The next day, ask what she liked and what she would change. That conversation is where your next night gets better.

11Common myths about squirting

Most of what men believe about squirting comes from exaggeration, not from women's real experience.

• Myth: "Every woman can squirt on demand." No. Many can learn it, some never do, and it is not a skill you switch on.
• Myth: "It's just pee." Not exactly. The larger release comes mostly from the bladder, but it is a sexual response, not urinating, and it often contains PSA from the Skene's glands.
• Myth: "It's fake." It is real, and it has been measured with ultrasound and lab tests.
• Myth: "If she doesn't squirt, she didn't enjoy it." Most women reach orgasm without squirting, and some squirt without orgasm. The two are separate.
• Myth: "It always looks like a fountain." Amounts vary from a few drops to a lot. What you may have seen online is often exaggerated.
• Myth: "Faster and harder makes it happen." Steady, patient, focused pressure works much better than speed.
• Myth: "It happens in seconds." The first time can take a long while. There is no shortcut.

For the mistakes we see most often, read 5 common mistakes men make when trying to help her squirt.

12Where to go from here

Squirting is not a trophy. It is what can happen when a woman feels completely safe, deeply aroused and free to let go with someone she trusts. If you bring patience, steady hands and real curiosity about her pleasure, you have already done the most important part, whether she squirts tonight or not.

If you'd like to learn these steps from women who teach them from their own experience, the class below goes further, one step at a time.

Hot kisses,Gabrielle MooreThe voice of Naked U · Who we are