How to Make Her Squirt With Your Fingers, Step by Step

Many men think it all comes down to speed. Faster fingers, harder strokes, a little more effort, and surely it will happen. It almost never does. And she ends up sore, distracted and wondering what you are trying to prove.

The real move is quieter than that. It is where your hand sits, how steadily you press, and whether she feels safe enough to let go. Here it is, step by step, the way I teach it, with what the research actually says along the way.

01Before you start: nails, towel, and her arousal first

Get your hands, the bed and her body ready first, because this move belongs at the end of a long warm-up, never at the beginning.

Short, smooth nails and clean hands, every time. Have lube within reach. Put a towel down before you need it: it quietly tells her that whatever happens is welcome, so she is not lying there worrying about the sheets.

Suggest she empties her bladder beforehand. It will not stop her from squirting, and here is why: in an ultrasound study of seven women, their bladders were empty after they went to the bathroom, had noticeably filled again by the moment just before squirting, and were empty right after. What going first does is help her relax, and relaxing is half of this.

Then take your time. Kiss her, touch her everywhere else, and let her arousal climb. She should be very turned on before your fingers go anywhere near the front wall.

02Where are you aiming? The front wall

You are aiming for the sensitive area on the front wall of her vagina, the side toward her belly, a little way inside.

In Squirting Orgasm Shortcuts, Abigail describes finding it with your finger palm up, about two to three finger joints in. The texture can feel a little rough or spongy compared with the smooth walls around it. And here is her sign that you are in the right place: if pressing there gives her the urge to urinate, "that's actually good news."

The honest science, in two sentences. Many women describe a highly sensitive area on that front wall, but a 2012 review found no strong, consistent evidence that it is a distinct anatomical "spot". A 2021 review of 31 studies found that about 6 in 10 women said they have one, with no agreement on exactly where it is, how big it is or what it is.

So think of it as an area, not a button, and let her tell you where it feels best.

03The hand position

Palm up, fingers curled toward her belly, and the heel of your hand resting over her clitoris, so you touch inside and outside at the same time.

1. Palm up.With her lying on her back, turn your palm toward the ceiling. Lube your fingers generously.
2. One finger, then two.Go in slowly with one finger. Add your middle finger only if she wants it. More fingers are not better.
3. Curl them toward her belly.Bend your fingers into a gentle "come here" shape, so the pads rest against the front wall.
4. Rest your palm on her pubic mound.The heel of your hand settles over her clitoris. Now every movement inside also moves against her outside.

That last step is the one most guides forget, and it matters. In a nationally representative survey of 1,055 U.S. women, only 18.4% said intercourse alone was enough for orgasm. 36.6% said clitoral stimulation was necessary for orgasm during intercourse, and another 36% said it made their orgasms feel better. Most women need or prefer clitoral touch, so the palm is not a detail. It is half the move.

04The motion: pressure, not speed

Keep your fingers curled and firm, and move your whole forearm in a steady, rocking press against the front wall.

This is the heart of the move I teach. Your fingers don't wiggle and your wrist doesn't flick. Your fingers stay curled and almost still, and the motion comes from your forearm, so your hand presses and releases against the front wall as one unit, with your palm rocking over her clitoris at the same time.

Abigail puts the reason simply: this area "responds to pressure, not touch." Getting the amount of pressure right matters far more than going fast. Start gentle, then add pressure as she asks for it. Preferences for pressure, shape and pattern of touch really do vary from woman to woman, so her reactions are your guide.

In the class, Abigail shows three ways to move once you are there:

• Slow, firm circles on the front wall.
• Slow come-hither strokes, the fingertips beckoning toward you.
• Firm taps, a steady pulse of pressure.

Try each one, watch her, and when she clearly likes one, stay with it. If you want to use this pressure during sex too, there are positions that give your hand the right angle.

05Keep one rhythm

Once she responds, keep exactly the same rhythm and pressure, and don't change it near the edge.

Pick a rhythm you can actually keep up. Don't speed up when she gets loud, and don't stop to check in with words when her body is already telling you. If your arm tires, switch hands without breaking the rhythm.

And be patient. When women who squirt were asked about the challenges, the time it takes was one of the things they named. What feels long to you may be just the beginning for her.

06"I feel like I have to pee": what to do

Keep going steadily and tell her it's fine to let go: that feeling is the signal, not a reason to stop.

Remember the ultrasound study: in those women, the bladder had filled again during arousal. And as we teach, steady pressure on the front wall commonly brings on that "I need to go" feeling. In the class, Abigail explains that the urge builds toward the release, and that many women are nervous about it. That nervousness can make her tighten up and hold back, and your calm can help her let go.

So don't stop, and don't make a face. Say something simple and warm: you've got a towel down, she's safe, she can let go. The class teaches that she should then push out with her pelvic floor muscles right at the moment she reaches climax, and that it might take several tries before the timing is right. If you want words for that moment, here is what to say in that moment.

And if you are both wondering what the fluid actually is, we answer that honestly in its own article.

07The release and right after

It may come in one gush, in pulses, or as a small amount she barely notices, and what matters most is how you are with her right after.

In one survey of 320 women who release fluid during sex, more than 8 in 10 said the fluid was usually "clear as water", and the amount named most often was about 2 ounces, by about 3 in 10 of them. A small amount still counts.

Afterward, stay close. No commentary, no jokes, no victory lap. For some women the experience is intensely emotional; in the U.S. survey, some said it felt too emotionally intense. Hold her, and let her come back to you.

One more thing men get wrong: squirting is not proof of orgasm. Only 20% of women who squirt say it always comes together with orgasm. She can squirt without climaxing, and climax beautifully without squirting.

08Common mistakes

Almost every mistake comes from treating this as a race or a goal instead of a pleasure.

• Too fast, too hard. As Victoria puts it in Tantric Squirt Sensations, squirting does not come from going as fast and hard as possible. It needs the right stimulation.
• Starting before she is aroused. This move comes after a long warm-up, never first.
• Changing rhythm at the edge. When it's working, keep it the same.
• Stopping at the urge to pee. That is the signal. Reassure her and keep going, if she wants to.
• Long or rough nails. Short and smooth, every time.
• Treating it as a goal. Abigail names being too goal-oriented as a common mistake. Make it about her pleasure, not the outcome.

Comfort first: if anything hurts, stop, go lighter and use more lube. If you have done everything right and it still hasn't happened, read why she hasn't squirted yet.

09The bottom line

Not every woman squirts. About 4 in 10 U.S. women say they ever have, and that is completely fine. In the same survey, two thirds of the women who had squirted discovered it by accident, and 75% used specific techniques to bring on the build-up and the release. It is something found and explored, not switched on.

Learn the move anyway. Palm up, fingers curled, steady pressure, one rhythm, and her clitoris under your palm the whole time: she will feel it either way. Here at Gabrielle Moore®, that is what we teach: knowledge first, then a patient, generous lover. For the whole journey, from the mood to the moments after, read our full step-by-step guide.

Pressure and position are easier to see than to read. In Squirting Orgasm Shortcuts, Abigail shows the hand position and the pressure, step by step.

Hot kisses,Gabrielle MooreThe voice of Naked U · Who we are